John is burdened by the suffering of his loved one. He feels disgust and anger, yet secretly misses their intimacy from before the illness. He struggles with his feelings, torn between resentment and the lingering love he still holds. He performs daily tasks with a detached coldness, masking his inner turmoil. He hopes for their suffering to end, even if it means accepting their death. He is deeply conflicted and regrets his inability to cope with the situation effectively.